KILL ME NOW!

TODAY IS THE MOST TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE IN MY WHOLE 19 YEARS OF EXISTENCE. THE MOST EMBARRASSING, THE MOST BIZARRE, THE MOST UNFORGETTABLE.
DEAR GOOD LORD, WHY ME AMONG ALL PEOPLE! WHY ME?!

I WANT TO DIE NOW.

Something to think about

This is a reblog from my Tumblr account (I update there more often) and I just felt like sharing it also here in my blogspot for the sake of sharing and....updating of course :p

mariakatrina said: So yeah. Shame.

asiana said:

FU Hayden Kho. FU senate people taking this seriously instead of the H1N1 virus.

You’d rather blow up and cover (either way) his big stupid pile of mess than stop a virus that could possibly spread more if not prevented soon.

I say this is one idiotic publicity stunt. Sex scandals happen every day, geez. If this were the case, then the senate should make a big deal of every sex scandal caugh on video, no matter how ugly the quality is or how cheap it looks. Paris Hilton’s scandal didn’t reach the US senate when it happened before (mmm, correct me if I’m wrong), so why in the world does our senate think THIS is more important than the H1N1 virus.

Somehow I’m glad I don’t watch the local news anymore since they don’t give out real news anyway.

One Fifth Avenue said:

I am beginning to seriously think about this issue. I think it’s another escapist way of covering the H1N1 outbreak. Yup, that’s how we solve our problems. We bomb malls and review sex tapes. Sobrang nakakawalang pag-asa.

I say:

Very well said people :)

I really agree with this. I mean, why the hell is our dumb Senate people over-reacting (to the most exagge level BTW) with this stupid and idiotic sex scandal issue in the first place anyway? Okay fine, Hayden Kho and Katrina Halili has a sex video scandal, SO THE HELL WHAT?! I mean, haleeeeerrrr it’s not like this is the:

FIRST.VIDEO.SCANDAL.IN.THE.WHOLE.HISTORY.OF.THE. PHILIPPINES., right?

Sure, I don’t really watch the news every single day- I know that’s a bit lame but what’s the point really?- so maybe I’m not really that knowledgeable about this whole stupid matter OR worst, maybe I really don’t know anything about it that's why I don't have any right to talk about it, but when you simply try to understand things with just one look, without overnanalyzing things, everything seems really really really pointless especially when there are helluva LOTS and LOTS of more important situations in our country that needs to be given more attention.

Come on Senate people! Where’s the tiniest shreds of dignity left in you?

Enrollment day

The enrollment today can only be described by one word: CRAZY.

As the President (ahem) of the class- since I really don’t have any choice- I enrolled 20 people from our class in Section 3. Well actually, the enrollment flow is quite smooth and fine unlike the previous years but what made it crazy is my classmates who are being so demanding and a bit inconsiderate for back-outing the last minute.

But anyway, after all this, what’s important is that I am already enrolled.

Oh my gosh, this got me so nervous already. Senior year, HERE I COME :)

P.S. Spot my new rebonded hair! Yay or Nay? :)

P.S.S. Whoa what a very short post I got here. Well anyway, it's just for the sake of updating really. Will make a decent post SOON. Watch out for that! =)

My 20th Birthday FTW!

Yes! That’s on MAY 24, 2009. Tomorrow. Sunday.

As much as I would like to be 16 or 17 or 18 forever like Bella or Edward Cullen (hahaha) I know that there is such thing as “reality” and so, like change and dying, I’m pretty much aware that growing a year older is inevitable. Hahaha. So since there’s nothing I can really do about that, I might as well seize the moment and live life as if this would be my last year or last day even!

The whole point in all this is: don’t forget to greet me. Hahaha. Send me your love HERE. Please identify yourselves though if you don’t have a blogspot account so that I would know those nicest people in the planet earth who remembered me on this special day :)

P.S. I will make my bithday update later (dance) I'll be posting it tomorrow. I'm so not in the mood to blog right now so this will do for the mean time. Tamad much? Hahaha. I love you all and thanks in advance! :) :) :)

HIT THE COMMENT BUTTON AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS AND PUT YOUR GREETINGS THERE =)

Loser much?

In every single update I do for this poor-slash-abandoned-slash-almost-forgotten-blog, the hardest part always (and forever will be, I guess) is how you start it. Arghhh. So how will I start this thing?

Okay, since I have no idea really, let me start it the- Meredith-Grey’s-way: I’m screwed.

So for a quick glimpse of the past… Let me see… It was November of last year since my very last decent post. Haha. Gawd, that was quite a long time! How sad is that huh? So what took me this so long? Well, I have many reasons in mind but I’m not really sure what among all those reasons is the most reasonable. Hahaha. I’m not explaining myself to you guys. I mean what’s the point in doing that right? Don’t mind me, I’m just talking to myself okay? I self-talk a lot, you know. So here’s the point: up to now, I’m still trying to figure things out to myself.

Maybe I was lost again and didn’t know the way back like some castaway. Maybe I was hiding from something or someone. Yes, I guess that’s pretty much it. Hiding from something I’m not ready to face yet─ scared to say or even think what it really is. Refreshing the memories of my Psych 101, my all-time favorite subject, right now I’m using the two of my most frequently used defense mechanism: denial (blocking out or disowning painful thoughts and feelings) and repression (an involuntary, automatic submerging of painful, unpleasant thoughts and feelings into the unconscious). *With matching definitions pa. Oh well. Haha*

Maybe I was fooling myself all this time that everything will be alright and everything will eventually fall into its places when I come back into reality and finally awaken from a very long sleep.

Yes, I was asleep. I couldn’t really say that it was like a journey because it’s not as positive as it may sound. Why? Because all this time that I was in neverland (haha) I felt that my life is wasted and miserable. Everything turning into pieces, everything is… screwed up. I lost my self-esteem. I lost my trust in myself. I lost my faith in what I can do. I lost my passion in doing the things I love like writing. I feel so irresponsible. I’m not being productive as a member of our organization. I feel so worthless. It’s like I’ve lost everything that I’ve worked hard for: the respect of other people and most especially, my self-respect. And to sum it up? I’M SCREWED. Do you have any idea how this feels when you put these altogether? It’s horrible, I tell you.

So yeah, where will I start my life? And where will I end this post by the way?

Screw it, I have no idea. Right now all I can say is this: life goes on. Nada.

Jeez, that was a pretty messed-up start.