Long time no anything?

I MISS YOU BLOG! I PROMISE TO BLOG SOON!

xoxo, Apple <3

KILL ME NOW!

TODAY IS THE MOST TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE IN MY WHOLE 19 YEARS OF EXISTENCE. THE MOST EMBARRASSING, THE MOST BIZARRE, THE MOST UNFORGETTABLE.
DEAR GOOD LORD, WHY ME AMONG ALL PEOPLE! WHY ME?!

I WANT TO DIE NOW.

Something to think about

This is a reblog from my Tumblr account (I update there more often) and I just felt like sharing it also here in my blogspot for the sake of sharing and....updating of course :p

mariakatrina said: So yeah. Shame.

asiana said:

FU Hayden Kho. FU senate people taking this seriously instead of the H1N1 virus.

You’d rather blow up and cover (either way) his big stupid pile of mess than stop a virus that could possibly spread more if not prevented soon.

I say this is one idiotic publicity stunt. Sex scandals happen every day, geez. If this were the case, then the senate should make a big deal of every sex scandal caugh on video, no matter how ugly the quality is or how cheap it looks. Paris Hilton’s scandal didn’t reach the US senate when it happened before (mmm, correct me if I’m wrong), so why in the world does our senate think THIS is more important than the H1N1 virus.

Somehow I’m glad I don’t watch the local news anymore since they don’t give out real news anyway.

One Fifth Avenue said:

I am beginning to seriously think about this issue. I think it’s another escapist way of covering the H1N1 outbreak. Yup, that’s how we solve our problems. We bomb malls and review sex tapes. Sobrang nakakawalang pag-asa.

I say:

Very well said people :)

I really agree with this. I mean, why the hell is our dumb Senate people over-reacting (to the most exagge level BTW) with this stupid and idiotic sex scandal issue in the first place anyway? Okay fine, Hayden Kho and Katrina Halili has a sex video scandal, SO THE HELL WHAT?! I mean, haleeeeerrrr it’s not like this is the:

FIRST.VIDEO.SCANDAL.IN.THE.WHOLE.HISTORY.OF.THE. PHILIPPINES., right?

Sure, I don’t really watch the news every single day- I know that’s a bit lame but what’s the point really?- so maybe I’m not really that knowledgeable about this whole stupid matter OR worst, maybe I really don’t know anything about it that's why I don't have any right to talk about it, but when you simply try to understand things with just one look, without overnanalyzing things, everything seems really really really pointless especially when there are helluva LOTS and LOTS of more important situations in our country that needs to be given more attention.

Come on Senate people! Where’s the tiniest shreds of dignity left in you?

Enrollment day

The enrollment today can only be described by one word: CRAZY.

As the President (ahem) of the class- since I really don’t have any choice- I enrolled 20 people from our class in Section 3. Well actually, the enrollment flow is quite smooth and fine unlike the previous years but what made it crazy is my classmates who are being so demanding and a bit inconsiderate for back-outing the last minute.

But anyway, after all this, what’s important is that I am already enrolled.

Oh my gosh, this got me so nervous already. Senior year, HERE I COME :)

P.S. Spot my new rebonded hair! Yay or Nay? :)

P.S.S. Whoa what a very short post I got here. Well anyway, it's just for the sake of updating really. Will make a decent post SOON. Watch out for that! =)

My 20th Birthday FTW!

Yes! That’s on MAY 24, 2009. Tomorrow. Sunday.

As much as I would like to be 16 or 17 or 18 forever like Bella or Edward Cullen (hahaha) I know that there is such thing as “reality” and so, like change and dying, I’m pretty much aware that growing a year older is inevitable. Hahaha. So since there’s nothing I can really do about that, I might as well seize the moment and live life as if this would be my last year or last day even!

The whole point in all this is: don’t forget to greet me. Hahaha. Send me your love HERE. Please identify yourselves though if you don’t have a blogspot account so that I would know those nicest people in the planet earth who remembered me on this special day :)

P.S. I will make my bithday update later (dance) I'll be posting it tomorrow. I'm so not in the mood to blog right now so this will do for the mean time. Tamad much? Hahaha. I love you all and thanks in advance! :) :) :)

HIT THE COMMENT BUTTON AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS AND PUT YOUR GREETINGS THERE =)

Loser much?

In every single update I do for this poor-slash-abandoned-slash-almost-forgotten-blog, the hardest part always (and forever will be, I guess) is how you start it. Arghhh. So how will I start this thing?

Okay, since I have no idea really, let me start it the- Meredith-Grey’s-way: I’m screwed.

So for a quick glimpse of the past… Let me see… It was November of last year since my very last decent post. Haha. Gawd, that was quite a long time! How sad is that huh? So what took me this so long? Well, I have many reasons in mind but I’m not really sure what among all those reasons is the most reasonable. Hahaha. I’m not explaining myself to you guys. I mean what’s the point in doing that right? Don’t mind me, I’m just talking to myself okay? I self-talk a lot, you know. So here’s the point: up to now, I’m still trying to figure things out to myself.

Maybe I was lost again and didn’t know the way back like some castaway. Maybe I was hiding from something or someone. Yes, I guess that’s pretty much it. Hiding from something I’m not ready to face yet─ scared to say or even think what it really is. Refreshing the memories of my Psych 101, my all-time favorite subject, right now I’m using the two of my most frequently used defense mechanism: denial (blocking out or disowning painful thoughts and feelings) and repression (an involuntary, automatic submerging of painful, unpleasant thoughts and feelings into the unconscious). *With matching definitions pa. Oh well. Haha*

Maybe I was fooling myself all this time that everything will be alright and everything will eventually fall into its places when I come back into reality and finally awaken from a very long sleep.

Yes, I was asleep. I couldn’t really say that it was like a journey because it’s not as positive as it may sound. Why? Because all this time that I was in neverland (haha) I felt that my life is wasted and miserable. Everything turning into pieces, everything is… screwed up. I lost my self-esteem. I lost my trust in myself. I lost my faith in what I can do. I lost my passion in doing the things I love like writing. I feel so irresponsible. I’m not being productive as a member of our organization. I feel so worthless. It’s like I’ve lost everything that I’ve worked hard for: the respect of other people and most especially, my self-respect. And to sum it up? I’M SCREWED. Do you have any idea how this feels when you put these altogether? It’s horrible, I tell you.

So yeah, where will I start my life? And where will I end this post by the way?

Screw it, I have no idea. Right now all I can say is this: life goes on. Nada.

Jeez, that was a pretty messed-up start.

Fearless Forecast

Adam Lambert F-O-R-E-V-E-R!!!

:))

Shoutout

If the mind keeps thinking you've had enough
But the heart keeps telling you don't give up
Who are we to be questioning wondering what is what
Don't give up through it all just stand up!

Visit MY TUMBLR and MY PLURK account! I'm constantly updating :)
See you all! Miss you all so much.

Shut up and let me go

There are certain things that I don’t want to, as much as possible, talk about especially with other people BECAUSE they are very painful and I consider those the darkest moments of my life in which I am not proud of. Yes, I am ashamed of the past mistakes and whatever it is that I regret to talk about. Besides, what’s the point right? I want to move on and it wouldn’t help if I’ll be reminded of those mistakes in my life. It wouldn’t be a help at all.

I’m so tired of feeling miserable and tired of those people whose trying to make me feel miserable. I’m so tired of being reminded how a big failure I am. Couldn’t people just leave me alone and let me figure things out myself?

Jawbreaker

At exactly 3:00 inside my room on a gloomy and rainy (stormy, rather) Wednesday afternoon, I finally finished Breaking Dawn! Insert dancing banana here.

FINALLY, after somewhat holding back myself from reading books other than my hideous-looking books on Nursing─ Medical Surgical book on the top of my list, of course, a.j.c.a (also jokingly called as) the most accessible and effective sedative there’s no need of a sleeping pill for the insomniacs─ I finally finished the book (Breaking Dawn) that has always been my priority-must-read-book. This vacation seems to be the perfect timing for this─ I thought it seemed inappropriate to call it a summer vacation when there’s a lot of storm approaching. It feels good to finally be given the luxury of time to splurge on leisure readings. Let’s cheers to that!

It’s roughly the second week of my much awaited vacation and since there’s nothing much to do really aside from watching some crappy pirated DVDs with my cousins from Manila who arrived also last week, I’ve settled myself to just read and read and read until there’s no more books to read with the hope of letting me get me through my last week of my vacation (probably my last vacation, I fear so) and now that there’s no more books to read the boredom seems to be taking effect now, killing me piece by piece.

Okay, enough of the drama.

Since thinking about boredom alone is altogether boring already I might as well shrug away from the thought and try think of positive thoughts and find myself of something to do so now I’m here, getting myself into the blogging scene again! Cheers to that! I really really missed blogging. It’s been like forever since my last post and I feel quite bad about it. It’s like I’ve forsaken a very important part of me: my love for writing. I promise myself I will be better. I will make up and keep up.

So anyway, I’ve finished 4 books so far: The Zahir by Paolo Coelho, Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella, There’s no place like here by Cecilia Aher and finally, Breaking Dawn by nonetheless, the genius, Stephenie Meyer. I enjoyed myself reading all these books, I love them all, each one of them equally worth-reading but my fave (I have a favorite, of course) is Confessions of a Shopaholic. It’s a really good book─ Rebecca Bloomwood is the funniest! Cecilia Ahern’s piece is also loved. I really appreciated the story and it’s lesson─ I’ve learned a lot from it. Sandy Shortt, the heroine of the story is so much like me in many ways. Although I found Breaking Dawn a priority, I found it─ as what many others have called it─ the downfall of the Twilight Saga. I don’t know, maybe Twilight has been my rock-solid-favorite-of-all-time among the four books that I didn’t really appreciated the other books that much. I mean, they don’t weigh equally as Twilight, sort of a thing like that. Do I make sense? Haha. I can’t explain, really. Maybe I found the “firsts” the best like for example, Legally Blonde 1, I think, is better than Legally Blonde 2 or the first season of Grey’s Anatomy is my fave of all the seasons, but of course, we all know that all the season of GA’s are one of a kind. OR maybe each one unique as the other─ that explains it, I think. End of the story. Haha. But anyway it feels good to finally finish Breaking Dawn. It just feels good to feel a sense of fulfilment and accomplishment =)

With that I couldn’t be any more thankful for having created literature, if someone created literature that is.

Currently listening to: Longer by Dan Fogelberg. Senti mode.
Mood: Relaxed, ecstatic and a bit bored.

I know you missed me.

Xoxo,
Apple (K)

So here's the thing...

I’m back to blogging again though I might get to update only sporadically (I would like to thank the movie Clueless for the word). So anyway, I recently changed my 24/7 internet connection to a prepaid mode nalang- I’m currenly using Globe Tatoo. I’m not really using the net that much during school days (school can sometimes be a bitch, y’all know that already) so therefore sobrang lugi ako since I pay P999 every month eh once a month or twice, sometimes pa nga I didn’t get to use the internet for a whole month. Boohoo. Well anyway, Globe Tatoo is okay naman as of now. Haha. Sometimes lang the signal is so mahina that’s why it can be so mabagal at times but anyway it’s cool because I can get to bring it anywhere (it’s so handy) so it’s all good parin :)

Hahaha. Okay that was random.

I miss blogging. I miss my blogger friends :( Hopefully I might be able to catch up parin since a lot of them are using Plurk. It’s soooo much fun! I hope I’ll be able to update a lot to make up for my loooonnngg absence in the blogging world. I miss writing narin eh. Goodluck to me! :)

Where is she?!

http://www.plurk.com/starapple

CLICK!

See you there!

P.S. Ishna, I miss you. Add me okay?

Ang Pagbabalik

Unang patikim...

I'm sexy. I'm back. Hahaha.

Nakakainip sobra!

Srsly, I can swim all the way to US to watch this on the 21st and I'm not exaggerating. LOL.

Indeed, time is slow for those who wait :c

Yeah I know, I'm such a loser. Hahaha. But hey, what can I do? I just can't get over it!

P.S. Welcome back, Misha!!!

Dear Ate Chesca,

You deserve all these

Don't stop shining
And keep that spark within you

because I know there's more to come!

Congratulations Ate Chesca!

Nagmamahal,
fan =)

Sembreak finally

Gawd, this day is soooooo boring. I can't imagine how I survived this super to the nth degree celcius hotness of the weather today. And hey, speaking of the weather... Isn't it that, supposedly our weather should be a little less warmer or should I say, colder? Whatever okay? But what's wrong with the weather?! It's freakin' hot this afternoon and I don't know what to do :l Rain, rain, please do rain!

Haha. Okay, enough about that.

Okay, since I have nothing to blog about really so I think I'll just be sharing some pics during our seminar last October 18 at the Fiesta Pavillion, Manila Hotel :)

On our way to Manila Hotel. What's with the snob attitude? Hahaha.

L-NU Nursing Student Council

Behind the scenes.

That's me in the lobby of Manila Hotel. First time eh. Haha.

With our very own CON Dean, Dr. Virginia Mendoza.

I've learned so much from this conference.

On our way home.

It's one of the best seminars I've attended so far and I'm really really grateful to be chosen as one of the representatives of our school. Ahh, the perks of being in the Nursing Student Council! Gahhh, I owe you this =) Thank you for this great opportunity!

P.S. Can I say hooray? Today is officially our first day of sembreak! Yehey!!!

Thank you Sunshine.com

For being truly, my greatest sunshine.

For changing my life in so many ways.

For helping me become a better and whole person :)

The Chosen Ones

Hello gorgeous people of this planet! This is our last week here in Manila for our affiliation. Bilis noh? The group from Veteran's went home last Friday kaya konti nalang kame sa dormitory here in Varsity Hills.

So here's the thing: You just have no idea how busy I am right now. As in busy-ness to the nth power, I swear. LOL.

Yung tipong di man lang makapagbukas ng other accounts like my friendster or multiply.

Yung tipong di pa kame makalabas labas ni Ishna (ako pa naman ang nagyaya. Sheesh)

Yung tipong di man lang makapagshopping for personal use sa Shopper'sville or MOA. Well nakapunta na ako sa SM Marikina last Saturday pero sobrang saglit lang. If ever makakalabas kame, sa NBS Katip lang mostly to buy the materials we need sa mga activities namin sa Sunshine.com.

Ahh. This is life. Sigh. But anyway, kahit gaano pa kame kabusy, I'm still very blessed and overwhelmed na sa Recovery ako napasama. With that I say, Sunhine.com is one of the best thing that happened to my life :D

Kweschon: Pwede bang maglibrary sa Ateneo kahit di ka student dun? Hehehe. May Case presentation kasi kame about bipolar disorder and we badly need some referrences. You know, you can't really trust the infos you get in the net. It's either we go to the city library or Ateneo. Hay ang hirap naman, sa Friday na pala namin ipapass. Yay yay yay yay.

Hidden agenda: para makakita ng mga artista. Hahaha. I'm such a loser.

I miss Dagupan.

I miss my room.

I miss my school.

I miss my parents.

I miss Sunshine and Izan.

I miss... YOU.

Affiliation Update

It's our 2nd day here in Manila for our affiliation in Sunshine.com in New Manila, QC and we've been literally toxic since our first day so my supposed schedule to blog was postponed. I have lots of stories to tell for all of you so stay tuned :)

BTW, we'll be staying here in Loyola Heights for the 2 weeks duration of our affiliation and it's soooooo cool because we're super near in Ateneo, my dream school. HAHAHA. I hope I'll be bumping into Saab Magalona or Chris Tui one of this days. Heehee.

Will update SOON :) Bye.

Happiness is the keyword

Finals are finally over... and I'm so over it.

Okay, so this will be very quick because I still have to do some editing etc etc. Yeah, my job, my responsibility. Whatever. WTFH. Yay! I'm so f*cked up! My life is such a mess. *sigh* Anyway, negativism aside for the mean time, I'm so overwhelmed with joy at this moment (exagge!) that our final exam- the "judgement day" as what we, nursing students call it- is finally over. I've been sleepless and stressed out and anxious for the past two weeks because of the freakin' exams as manifested by pimples here, there and everywhere (screw the freakin' hormones!) and prominent dark circles under my eyes- yeah, the eyebugs. I super love it.. NOT. It's bull.

Here's a quick evaluation of my exams:

• Cardio- Internal hemorrhage
• F & E- Sisiw! Hahaha :))
• Respiratory- Nosebleed
  
• GI- ANV (anorexia, nausea and vomitting), Slightly complicated
  
• OB- 50-50 Hahaha.
  
• Pedia- Easy as usual :p
  
• Psych- My favorite subject. My forte. Hehehe.
  

Okay so here's the best part of all- I lost my examination permit. It was a minute or two before the exam proper when I went to the comfort room to pee- a strong manefestation of my high anxiety level. I know I know. Bad timing (or can you say worst?). I was in a hurry to the max because I don't want to be left behind with the shading thing (FYI: we do shading during exams and unit tests for every single subject) that's why I was almost running to get to the CR. And the rest is history. I'm 100 to the nth power % sure that I had dropped it somewhere. You just can't imagine how my world turned upside-down when I realized that my examination permit was gone in the wind- the most devastating situation of my life so far. I was crying like hell looking for my permit on my bag and everywhere. It's really a good thing and I'm very very thankful that Mam Nicholas, our proctor, was very kind and understanding enough to let me take the exam (I just showed her my permit) or else... I'm double dead. As in like a double dead meat. Taking a special exam is never an option for us nursing students like me so I'm not exagerrating here. *Sigh* What an awful experience :l With all that I say... SHIT HAPPENS! Whahaha.

The lesson? Never ever ever put your money and your examination permit on your pockets and it's so urgent that you have to run because you really need to have a last trip to the comfort room before the start of the lethal exams. Yeah right!!! When will I ever learn this lesson?

So enough about that super bad experience. The most important thing for me now is that the sem is finally over and the next sem will be another chance to change and improve for the best, to rise up again after that long, painful fall and to learn from the past mistakes. I must admit that this sem was not that good or satisfactory (think: mediocrity), whatever you call it but I promise to myself and to my future (haha) and to my Mom and Dad that I'll make up for it and try harder next time by sparing more of my brain cells and burn more midnight oil. I'll avenge my name this 2nd sem. Itaga nyo yan sa bato! Hahaha.

***

MAJOR UPDATE: I'll be going on AFFILIATION on October 13! I'm suuuppeerrr excited about it! [Obvious naman diba? Naka-all caps pa ang word na affiliation. Hahaha.] Only 25 of us were assigned in Sunshine.com, a recovery institution for mental patients. The rest will be in Veterans and NCMH. I'll be telling more about it when we get there in Manila.

Ishna, magkita tayo please! Hahaha. Sa Loyola Heights, QC ang dorm namin, malapit kaba dun? :)

Oh btw, summer duty na namin for NCM 103 on Monday. So hospital duty from Monday-Friday (Oct 6-10) then affiliation on Saturday. Musta naman yun? :c

***

A picture in Medical Centrum Dagupan with one of our patient, lolo Adrian. Share ko lang because this pic inspires me a lot. Looking at this picture helped me to become motivated to strive harder this finals. He's one of the nicest and the best patient I have handled so far. I will never forget him :)

***

Yay! Ang haba din pala ng post na to'. Hahaha. So I think that's all for now. I badly need a good night sleep tonight. I need to regain my energy after this long, stressful, exhausting day.

Thank you Lord for everything :)

Sweetdreams people!